Apparently, I used one of my nine lives.
sonyamcneil: Kevin got off of work early today and wanted to go play golf. I decided I would ride along because it was so damned nice out and I packed a cooler with some beers and a mason jar filled with vodka and cranberry. The whole thing started out normally. It did not necessarily end up that way. The golf course we go to is pretty because it’s hilly and has views of the mountains and a...
snooz3r: stevenbeelen: Palin vs Couric (SNL • Spoof) tina fey is genius…to bad s-pal isn’t
Anne Hathaway likes teh buttsecks... →
(via lesbenjamin) lol..this made me choke on my lemon water…go ahead princess mia!
me as julia...
it's me julia!: so anyway...i was talking to brad (pitt) the other day...and i was
it's me julia!: she's totally outshining you with those kids
it's me julia!: you gotta adopt a leper or something...cause if you catch em they
have to give you their pot of gold
it's me julia!: or grant you wishes or something
it's me julia!: then who should ring on my other line...but angie (jolie-pitt)
it's me julia!: i was like heeeeyy...and she was like heeeey...and i was like wow...and she was like ugh...and i was like i know...
it's me julia!: but then i was like...i totally have my future husband on my other
line...so i'll call you back...
it's me julia!: so i hung up...then i was like brad...that was angie's fat ass...she
totally doesn't know i want you...and then angelina was like...its's still me bitch
it's me julia!: i was like oh snap...so i hung up on em both...
[McCain] talked about Alexander the Great. I think he knew Alexander the Great.– Paul Begala, on CNN just now. (via thedailywhat) Alexander the great liked men. WWSPD? (via sonyamcneil) wwspd?…probably go out on her porch and point out russia.
YOU KNOW WHAT BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME?– me: you know what bugs the shit out of me? him: whats that? me: bitches in porn that can’t stop looking at the camera! him: haha me: QUIT FUCKING LOOKING AT ME AND LEARN TO FAKE BETTER! IT’S NOT EVEN IN YOU! QUIT MOANING!
I got something stuck in my vagina and I can... →
lesbenjamin: “It is a small part of a toy that broke off…about 3/4 inch wide…maybe 2 inches long” hahahahah lmfaooooooooooooo…. can’t stop laughing…you have to go look at the page…(linked)
The English Lecture...
blurredvision: A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY...
me: UGH...I NEVER GET IT! DAMNIT!
other person: patience is a virtue.
me: and lust is a sin...guess which one I have.